Worst. PFO. Letter. EVER

I recently (on behalf of my wife) requested a book via the Ottawa Library online request service. Their response:

Title: The Divided Heart Format: Book The item that you suggested be purchased for the Ottawa Public Library will not be ordered, for one of the following reasons:

• It does not meet the Library's selection criteria - http://www.biblioottawalibrary.ca/explore/about/policies/selection_e.html
• It is by a very popular and best selling author, or is a top 40 compact disc, or a well reviewed DVD feature film - we will be buying these anyway and the order will be placed at a later date. Please check the database so you can place a hold.
• It is over two years old. (If a book, see if it is available from one of our Sm@rtLibrary partners.)
• It has not yet been published or released.
• The budget for the year has been spent.

The Library receives a large number of suggestions and can not always respond to requests for clarification of its decisions. Thank you for your interest in the Library's collection.

Translation: "Here's a semi-random list of reasons we can't get your book, but we can't tell you which one is the actual reason: 1) It's not a book. 2) It's too popular. 3) It's too old. 4) It's too new. 5) Oh yeah, we fogot, we're broke. Please don't contact us for further information. Toodles!" I particularly like the last reason. "We're broke." Maybe if you've spent the budget, you should stop soliciting ideas for new books until the next paycheque comes in. It will save us all some grief. Just an idea.