The Mocking, It Burns

Hello Canada, and welcome to The Debate. Don't touch that dial, there's Pakin on it! Ha ha, I slay me. Now for the opening statements.

First, I am always asking the questions, like why am I never have the blinking? You have the blinking, she has the blinking, he has the blinking, but I never have it. And it makes me look the crazy and also be the crazy. Also, where is my pant? I was wearing my pant before, but now it is not on.

Canadians need leaders who are wearing pants, especially at the kitchen table. I always wear pants. I was at the kitchen table while flying over Exxon. I will sell ordinary, working Canadians pants at a 20% discount, with no money down until 2011!

This is such a sausage fest. But I like the cut of your jib, Jack, which is why I'm announcing a plan where Canadians can give up their gas guzzling cars and ride Jack Layton to work, reducing their carbon footprint by using this alternative mode of transportation.

(I can ride Layton to work? Wheeeeee!!! Golly, smiling in this rubber mask hurts.)

Dis is a good plan, but not a great plan. The Layton, he has a very aerodynamic head, but we would shave the excess face hairs. We will make the Canadians ride the Layton to the work, but ride the Gilles Duceppe home. The Liberal carbonation tax is simple. We put a tax on what is bad, such as the Pepsi, and we cut taxes on what is good, such as the wine. Vote for more of the fun.

You panicked, Stephane. You came in here and saw Gilles without any pants, and you panicked, and now you're making up plans as you go. Let me be clear. Our plan is simple. We've ordered another fifty rubber masks from the mother ship, and these ones will fit a lot better. Plus I have a new pair of pants.

Are you having my pant, Harper? Because you don't make me becoming mad, or if I am becoming mad, I'll cut you! I'll cut your face Harper!

And that's all the time we have for tonight. Pakin FTW!